Letting Go

Hey Guys,

How are you today? Sorry I didn't update this blog yesterday. I was literally tired and couldn't think of anything else except the University Placement Day which came to college we're all the University from Australia. You know Australia is my favourite country and it has been my favourite since i was little. Do you guys still remember that i posted about me wanting to live there or i deleted it because i was bored sometime ago? herm Okay never mind. Yeah , you guys get the picture right right? haha. Anyway, the University hunting went well. Really well. I met some awesome lectures by the way and one of them said i'm unique or something..Thanks =)

Okay okay..about the title above. I bet you guys wanna know whats up right? Okay remember on Friday i posted saying that i was crying? Yeah the oh so sudden crying, well this is what happened. I have this one awesome best friend that i just got back and his name is Azmi which he called himself Kazo. I said i got him back because we've got separated by his girlfriend for 2 years. Me and Azmi are like close as crazy because he knows i've been helping him manage his life since we've known each other and he knows me well enough to know i actually do that because i want him to live a better life before he gets influenced by other inappropriate people in this world. I know guys are easily influence.

So yeah, he called me back on the first week of fasting which actually blow me away because i was totally surprise and he actually learned his lesson on knowing who to find just to get my number. * smile * Then we talked a lot and he knows i always do that because he will just laughed and be the crazy him by looking at girls and say " Ey wani, is that girl cute?" and i will go like " No she's not" but if the girl is cute or really beautiful then i will say " Yes" . Yeah i can go with his rhythm sometimes. I asked him what makes him remember of me like what he misses the most about me and he said me conquering his schedule like i will call him every single time to make sure he won't do something stupid. To be honest i also miss that. I just laughed when he said that to be honest.

Last Friday he texted me saying he was back together with his girl and i was suprise. Totally blown away. The girl once scold me and said so many bad things which made me cry. I cried not because she scold me but i cried because i lost a friend and that Azmi didn't do anything because he was so in love with her until he doesn't want to do anything that can make her mad. I understand him. Actually I understand him & Helmi both . They both are doing the same thing right now. And it hurts knowing that your losing the most awesome best friend that a girl could have ever have. I miss helmi much more because his not just a friend but also a big brother. He treats me like one too. *beginning to cry ,,gosh want to stop* Then on that Friday, the girl did it again, scold me and texting me and saying so many stuff. I didn't kept quite this time. I scold back because i couldn't stand it anymore and Azmi tried to cover up for the girl. I know he doesn't want me to be sad because he can't stand seeing me cry again like the last time but the girl won i guess because she texted me using his number. She started to make me look like i'm an idiot but she's just young. I mean Younger then me and she disrespect as a senior. I know shes 2 years younger then me but i never had a junior that disrespect a senior. For all that i ever know is that all of the junior i met, all of them was nice and call me " Sis" .

I know here is not many good like kids but my dad taught me how to respect people no matter what. Anyway, i told this to Leah, and she told me that i have to just avoid Azmi from now on. Don't ever contact him or what because he would put his girl first and not the friendship. You guys know how much i value friendship. Letting go of Azmi is not easy because i know he needs me as a friend but I have to do it just because i don't want him to hurt my feelings again. I just really hope that he would take control of the relationship and not the girl. Leah is right. He would do this to any girl his with even though his been on and off with this girl for the 3rd time. To be honest, it hurts a lot.

And you know what, before this happen, Azmi told me that he wants to continue his studies and don't wanna work anymore. He ask me everything that he wants to know which is more to wants the best course and what is best for his future. To be honest again, i was so so so so HAPPY when he said that because i always stressed the fact that whether does he still wanna work and not study every single time we meet. And talking about meeting up , he actually showed up at AEON near my house and meet so we both can actually catch up on each others life. I know his lonely without a girl. Herm. Sorry Azmi but i have to do this and trust me, letting go of you and our friendship is hard enough. I still have to except the fact that your doing this and you know how disappointed and sad i am. I just got u back and losing you again is not my other option.

I'm sorry.