Waking up

Hey, You know, waking up every morning and thinking about my health and my condition always brings me to the part where i'm afraid if anything happens. You know, in the very beginning, I always thought that i can handle this coughing and the "almost throwing up" part but now its just getting to the point where i'm sick of it and that i'm scared if anything happens to me.

Now i'm scared that if i have lung cancer or just simply a bad lung problem because i could not stop myself from coughing and last time when i went to see my doctor, ( which is last week) she said that there is a sputum stuck in my lungs and I was quite surprised by that because i didn't feel any sputum or what. So the doc gave me 2 sets of pill and 1 cough syrup and to be honest, it's damn strong, even i can't stand it but it's consider a big OKAY if i tell you that i'm eating my meds as i'm supposed to now and the main reason for that is because i'm sick of it. SICK OF IT!

But then again, even though i've eaten them, my cough is still here and the almost "throwing up" is sometimes there which annoys me so much because it'll make feel different. The doc did say if I still feel the pain , go back there and re-check and they would do an x-ray like I requested . Actually i'm scared for the x-ray part and i've been holding it since last week. I didn't tell anyone about it and that I am a bit sensitive now because i'm scared and that i can be a bit emotional because i think i'm facing the girls menstrual cycle and the same thing scared. It's just that, every time the thing that cross my mind is cancer and honestly i can imagine myself with wires and such every time i go to sleep. Herm.

I just feel like, i don't know who to talk to anymore because i don't want anyone to worry because its my health problem ='(