Continue

Good Afternoon

I know that usually i will just update this blog late at night before i sleep but this time i just don't wanna forget anything that i want to express myself in here. Okay let's start !

Yesterday I told you guys that I was thinking to do something right and I said lets see whether i remember or not that thing and yep yep i remembered. The thing is that, for all this years ( my past ), I haven't put all that thing behind last year and this year like i said, i did put it all behind after what i learn and been through in subang. But now the thing is , i was thinking to add one of the girls that used to hurt me so bad and that I couldn't even forget her. I know she use to say that i'm different from other girls and that she just can't get herself out of my sight but then it took me several years to notice that she's just all the same and that i can't trust her that much anymore. I notice that now,  i know that its hard for me to hate someone and  when i do hate em, well it's just put these people in the wrong place in my life. And honestly I hate putting people in THAT place of my life because i know i would just forget them instantly after my busy and fun life.


 I got the feeling of wanting to contact this people back and i know at first I was like " no way , you ruined my life and now you wanna be back in my life, that's a big NO " you know what i mean. But i'm not saying that i want all of them back in my life and it's kind of a waste having this people back in my life because they did make me traumatise and they did make me the person that I am right now * thanks * and i'm lucky but I'm not planning to contact all of them back, i'm just planning to contact only one of them because lately when i bumped into my former schoolmates  , they would ask me about them and i just feel like " okay to make things better, let the friendship continues " but then again if you think it back, there is no use of doing all of that back just to make other people feel better and satisfied, so i just wanna know whether i should or should not do all this, in other words, contacting the girl back. I know if i contact her back she would say, i'm desperate to have friends and wanting to have her in my life, but honestly, I DON'T and if i am that desperate, i would contact that girl back 2-3 weeks after the girl hurt me emotionally but i didn't and it's nearly been a year or so i haven't contact her nor stalk her or what because i'm disgusted by her way of telling people that everyone needs her even though they picked a fight with her.

Gosh, sometimes i just think that , why did all that happen and how did i face all that by myself but now the story is whether i want to continue doing this thing or not because i know in the end, it would hurt me like crazy . trust me..